i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
