bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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