she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
