Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
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Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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