i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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