he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
