I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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