All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
