wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
