how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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