Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
