You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
