shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
