It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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