Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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