Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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