what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
