I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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