What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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