She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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