Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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