You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
