you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
