Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
