I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize