i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
