people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
