is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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