"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
