Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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