Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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