somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
