On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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