So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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