then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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