If i come over, it means nothing
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
They took my balls.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My bed smells like the plague
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
