4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
