Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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