Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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