where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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