Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
soo... how was my night?
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