I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
