No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
