Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize