I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
