HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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