I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Welp...herpes.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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