these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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