Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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