remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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