I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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