Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
