That's intense
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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