i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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