Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she peed on how many people?
I just found puke in my bra..
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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