Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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