I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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