Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize