Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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