I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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