Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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