too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
