physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
