he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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