they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
