weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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