The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
