do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
