yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
