what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
