Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
