We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize