return my video game
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
